lupercal

(a carnival of wolves)

(1)

 

. . . nascitur )nascitur( nascitur, again

is propagating

another newborn'n other son'n'nother sons

'n'til one's twinned sons rebelled

sold downRiver, bought the flag

stole the needle, took the gun

 

'n'til first a twin raged mindless drunken hurricanes, he a heroin borealis

edge-twisting razors double-helix down sick South Texas highways

sucking LoneStar from his can

driving a boxMetal uninsured Japanese fuckUp-truck

down garterSnake's yellow roadStriped back

the hermetic windows stewing goatpus clingering dirty T-shirt up fetid hollows

half-an-arm above a rancid, tracking scab

Tattoo, blue, below his hairless wrist

where he's tapping out arrhythmia against his denim dick

while JimiHendrix fucks his head

he's bedding mother MaryJane and Camel Lights

with one weak headlight, a six-pack, and his trusty knife

 

Gone,

forever 90 in a 55.

 

Only,

he occasionally refeuling beats the baby/wife, rapes the planet, makes a living

makes an occasional stop at prisons run exclusively for men

too ashamed to beat it off to

too scared listening to his longing

 

Gone smokin'cokin'gettin'loose ahead fullLibertine, again

on the same road, with

occasionally an occasion to make( A siren-stop, in back of a red-and-white speeding

cherry-on-top flashes, calling, "Clear!" before ionizing zaps aCross

the brother galvanized! What mother taught us dying means

in the sign of father, son, the holySoul

he's crucified alive.

An emerging momently among chrome electric trauma teams

An emergency unhearing beeps a cold tone, flattening

for, "five minutes--maybe more," they said no blood, no hope remained

brain metamorphosized, an OXyless adjustment, breaking frame.

 

In his postmortem epiphany, Jesus says

the twin showered, shaved, set aside his shit

to peddlar Father's tardy parables door-to-door

packaged in a Gideon of hotel-room proportions

Having seen a light between those bright electric flashes under CPR

Having sucked another tit than MotherMary's, mother cried

herKeeping counsel home

 

and somewhere

shoveled into the space between his twin

shoveled into silence

he found a word to speak

and it was hollow.

 

I, smiling

nodded, folding brother's testament

my brother's death

Made proper ritual acceptance, paying feebly brotherMine

as if to pence Peter, forSake Of Time

but, when he had left the room( and me

alone, a smile strapped( a condom to my face

I unbuttonned the long dark, double-duty line

my uniform enhanced my prick out into air

above my brother's words, and pissed

 

Because he was a lobotomy in action

his seamless plastic sermon pounding down some pulpit

a HurlyBurly thrown backwards, a pitiful distraction

Because his words were every bit of ARTificial as my smile

Because his words weren't even his

( my hot stream spirals down on steaming, slaggish, I hissed crackleingly splatters

Thankyou God, who made my brother( bladder meet your challenge

. . . 'til nothing remained of the best from the worst a whole damned generation's

suffering, but's decomposing morals, puddling

slow.

 

(2)

 

So, I left to go on with my

left to get on my life

Because they'd already squeezed me toothpaste dry

By Godknows Damned priests, instead of fathers

wearing uniform and smokin', drinkin' incremental wine

By cousin's flabby sins of pride, distending them porcineSelves, grotesqueries

flesh masking milk-carton innocents flaunting streets-sophisticate

laced, her sex & cigarrettes

in the tongue of a thirteen-year-old virgin kissing stale beer breath

beneath Hymen's banquet linenTable, sweat

clothing ourselves in our own saliva, an exotic showing-off of pets

in Family( linguese, I never learned

palaver.

 

So what?

So they let me sit on the ice creamFreezer underneath my peachCockballs

while cranking my machine

they winnowed by, cotton-topped smiles cleavageing

cranked zesty cogs, gearing mesh made ice

cream

 

and they never caught on, 'cause

Oh, My Brother( twin

I was the wraith in your hallway, greyrabbit-fashioned from closet darkness

dreaming dinosaur shadows from my nest

screaming naked, trees against my walls( Oh

Yes! I was the one reduced by all your violence

to lasting glacial dreams

who you, constipating rage, inflamed

They caught ME by Your fucking balls, rackedRaw in Belial

a hating you created.

 

(3)

 

Naive', too

Volunteering a winterFall upon brief childness

of my revolution's Spring( an opposit-attract-ion

I, fettered genitally to the AmPer of your rage

obeyed potential difference, volted mercuric

filling father, warships

losing. starting from the gun.

 

For my Sinbad7 voyages charting wild nucleic oceans once begun

my memory brother faded, a Kodak half-life, chemically degrading

as I, exposed to ion radiation, found fitting forms of supercritical recursion

uncontrolled, a breeder meltdown

echoing your alchemy

 

Why,

we were all orphaned meatBabies lubricating daddy's death machine

uniform, brothers

twinned by government decree

But this was no IvyCollege, flattering Halo-Sin-O-Gin smiles

paint-by-numbers in the portraits sofabound behind

This was no Geek fraternity, engaged in cottonPanty enfilade

This was the maze( gravid with crawlTime

quayTabled in bloating madness, feasted on a cannibal of days

 

And out there

rabid silence caged us in a cloud of desperate desire

clung to marble at our isolated showers

icy, sharing needles, gamed we killing

feral demons dancing past the cold green pyres( our radar screens alive

reports of friendly fire( miasma, static

served a world's botched suicide, the 3rd

 

Which left no succor, stranded sailors captive desert

IsLe( be coming home again, if they exhume me quick

Enough, I need to breathe . . . .

 

(4)

 

In a break with the( breaking past

In seek of feeling I

slip that steelgray grateing

skating where hyperbole mirrors queerly carnival reflections

Bow

applauded for my Dopplered idShift( only a run of the show

of being less Thomas, twin

more other men, fictitious

who, acting before a painted backdrop of deflowering

PanFlute maidens enveloping among my more-than-mouth

I burrowed, nesting, yet slept canaried, stilled

by very dinosaur brigades come bruising all my love, ladies

losing loving( gone down the same

Same road again, brother.

 

but here appears

a rip( the veil of labyrinth revealed as stone

by sun, bright colors off my unaccustomed prism

which, in scattered cameos revered

on ivory carvings pray to answer Him

whose silence lies( not skyward, but of mind

so much more consonance with life

 

I found dark a green mountain, a light

she kissed familiar strangeness, cried quiet cold streams

privately( filling grottoes, mine

by perspectives facets( windowing, as they do

in the stop of flowing( time.

(5)

 

Full circle, brother

as Canon bell, worn Vespers chime

Awaking flouresced in sudden white asylums

fighting nightly dying under Loxapine( a morphous, manic prisoner

being eaten by my own machine

Become a Matador

connecting, brother, cord by Gravitas our family

BlackHole, blackSheep blossoms

drumDance howling wholey writing

paint poet's bronzed near thresholds labyrinthial

Boundaries found.

 

Anticipating deathRow rictus, lips imitating smile

I diving airBurned certain canyon vectors, embarked reconnaisance of Why

I'm up here yet, brother.

A stitch through sky, still wanting reason

Grown wise my crystalline toxicity of blood

plastic 'neath the pressure in my 'hood

an Academy survivor, camouflage encoding escadrille

performing DeCon-struction, only ) killing self

 

So, if you are the twinson, brother 'come prodigal returned

Then I am a( symmetry, your anti-spin )one dutiful

who learned by swallowing the belly of my father's dragon

Lost to see, at last, my blindness night

rejecting models worn

of memory

 

I am the yang within you( twin you

yin without, to balance

Laying claim upon your unresisting I

unholy basket at your door, come lately duty's other castle

crying, "leave the maze behind( yourself before

because to learn it's( never too

never too late to( late

to go inside you( never too late to

change is( happening all the

change is( time

again is propagating( nascitur . . . .


 

history poses

(two wordforms)

deconstruction cowbell blues