A Dog's Diary
7am - Oh Boy! Breakfast! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh Boy! A nap! My favorite!
1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! Animal Planet! My favorite!
4pm - Oh Boy! Dinner! My favorite!
5pm - Oh Boy! Grandma! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing with my "teddy " ! My favorite!
9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in Daddy 's bed! My favorite!
Day 183 of my captivity....
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing
that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my
attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their
feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must
try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite
chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am
capable of and to try to strike fear into their
hearts.
They only cooed and commented about what a good
little kitty I was. Hmmm, not working according to
plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the
event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was
because of my power of "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and
seems more than happy to return. He is obviously an
idiot. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.
But I can wait; it is only a matter of time....